Dave’s Tip Sheet For Super Bowl Prop Bets
Here’s a tip sheet just in case you are heading to Vegas for the Super Bowl. Consider all of these picks locks….to lose you money.
Will Alicia Keys mess up the lyrics (Yes +170)
My pick: This is one of the easiest bets on the board. As Beyonce proved last week at the President’s inauguration, these things are pre-recorded. Zero chance she sings live=zero chance she messes up. Easy money on NO.
Color of Gatorade dumped on winning coach (Leader is clear/water)
My pick: Last season with the St. Cloud Rox, I got the Gatorade bath…and I’ll tell you this: it was clear and it smelled like that swamp you had to canoe in during summer camp. With that being said, I will go with GREEN. It seems to be the most plentiful and popular flavor of the ‘Rade, and in 31 years of research I have also found it to be the tastiest variety.
Will a player be flagged for excessive celebration?
My pick: No-ish. I mean, what is more excessive than Ray Lewis’ seizure-inspired breakdancing routine he pulls every game before kickoff? This isn’t flagged? I can’t imagine Moss will squirt referee Jerome Boger with a water bottle, or moon the Ragin’ Cajuns in the Superdome.
Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?
IF-Ray Lewis: Himself, then God, then himself, then an awkward combination of the two.
IF-Randy Moss: Brad Childress.
IF-Colin Kaepernick: Hans and Frans for helping to get him pumped up.
IF-Joe Flacco- Joe Mauer, for inspiring him to be brave enough to sport sideburns that went out of style in 1978.
IF-Bryant McKinnie- Ray Kroc, whom he considers the bizzarro Richard Simmons.
IF-Justin Tucker- Billy Cundiff, for being born with two left feet
If Ray Lewis wins the MVP how many times will he mention “God.” (over/under 3)
My pick: OVER. WAYYYY OVER. I’d guess he uses God and God’s time over ten times, or about half the times he says “me” or “I.”
Which region will have the higher TV ratings?
We know San Francisco residents will make it through the first half of the game, which starts at 3:30 Pacific time. The question becomes whether they still tune in after 4:20, or will they get distracted by “Grandma’s Boy” airing on Comedy Central.
Baltimore on the other hand will be busy working on the docks, running from Omar Little and cleaning up Hamsterdam.
Pick: Baltimore. The safest place to hide from Omar is inside the building with the shades drawn.