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Admit It – Our Teams Suck, Minnesota!

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This is a tough time to be a Minnesota sports fan.

I am not a native Minnesotan, but I am a sports fanatic, and have been here long enough to consider myself a fan of all our local teams. I moved here from a town (San Diego, CA) that has NEVER won a major sports championship of any kind – so one thing I can quickly recognize, is sports futility!

At least the Twins are decent. They are a perennial playoff team, Ron Gardenhire really is one of the top 5 managers in all of baseball, and the new ballpark is awesome. The line-up is solid, especially if Justin Morneau can return to his old self this year. The problem is, our starting pitchers SUCK – ALL OF THEM – and we have noone in the bullpen that I trust, either. What irritates me most about the Twins, is that they NEVER, EVER make that one big trade during the season, you know what I mean? “BIG” – being the operative word there. We’ll be just good enough to make the playoffs – and get swept in the first round AGAIN! Do you know the Twins have lost 12 straight playoff games?

At least the Twins get a sniff of the playoffs, though, as opposed to the T-Wolves. Kevin Love is a great guy, and a great player – it’s too bad the rest of the squad is so horrible. When he leaves via free agency in two years – the T-Wolves might just pack it up for good. I’m serious. Would you even notice?

Minnesota’s favorite team, of course, is the Vikings. By the way, the Vikings are a complete mess right now, as well. Coach Frazier has assembled a good staff, the problem is the players on the field. Adrian Peterson is useless if the Vikes have no quarterback, and a terrible offensive line – the exact predicament they are in right now. Oh yeah, and the Vikes secondary couldn’t cover my grandma – not good! The Packers just won the Super Bowl, the Bears are good, and the Lions are on the way up. The Vikes may be the worst team in the division FOR A WHILE.

Moving on – the Minnesota Wild are not going to make the playoffs, again. If we are the “State of Hockey”, why don’t we have any good players? It’s a fair question.

I love college hoops, and was fired up at the beginning of this season for the Gophers. Buzzkill! They have proven to be not just over-rated, but they are also as SOFT AS THE PILLOW I SLEEP ON! Who knew a seven footer could be such a puss – and we have THREE of them! LOLOL

If you’re a Minnesota sports fan, I suggest you just do what I do – gamble heavily. Poker, horse racing, and sports betting. Just bet AGAINST the Minnesota teams, and you’ll do great!

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